LIVING MY FAITH AMIDST THE MARGINALIZED
L. Yesumarian, SJ
I had to walk up and down 10 kilo meters every day to the (High) school. When I was seventeen years old and doing my final year of schooling there was a severe drought in our region and people were facing starvation and struggling even for drinking water and my family and I were not spared.
We had hardly a meal per day and seeing rice was seeing like God and the whole family eating a full meal was experiencing the grace of God.
For the first time 'The week-end Market' was introduced and gathered three Kilo meters away from my village. We had a cow which was a source of income to our family, and my mother prepared a pot of buttermilk from our cow milk and took it to the week-end market for sale. The buttermilk was sold within half-an-hour and the consumers appreciated its taste. The little money she collected from the sale of buttermilk, my mother purchased some rice and vegetables and after a long time we had a full meal. We had good sleep that night.
For the following week my mother prepared even better buttermilk and took it to the market. We were waiting for my mother to come back in the evening so that we could have a meal.
We waited and waited and to our disappointment my mother came back with the same buttermilk without selling even a glass of buttermilk. When we had asked for the reason, with tears she said, "last week being the first day of themarket people did not bother to identify me, but now they have identified me as an 'untouchable woman' and so nobody wanted to drink the buttermilk from an untouchable woman". We drank the buttermilk that our mother brought back and went to bed. The whole night I could not sleep. I became restless, charged with emotions, tears etc.
Untouchability, which is a cruel form and expression of casteism, had deprived my food, aggravated my poverty and humiliated my mother and made us realize that the Indian society treat us and count us less than human beings. The whole experience and reflections about it did not make me revengeful rather nurtured vocation within me to become a priest in the Society of Jesus, a priest to work among the victims of dehumanization. And all through my formation I had been in touch with such situations and the people to keep my spirit alive.
After becoming a priest in the Society, I had started living and working with the poor, the marginalised and the dalits - raising awareness, promoting and protecting human rights, building up network and solidarity with the oppressed masses. Building up people's movements such as Dalit Movement, Dalit Christian Movement, Workers Movement has been my main task and commitment. I see the movement in Indian context as a symbol of hope and a sign of God's Kingdom. I realized and experienced that a social Movement of the Poor is a channel of God's grace for salvation and liberation.
In one of the struggles for Dalit land rights, I was arrested, kept naked, tortured, and imprisoned. (I have been imprisoned a few times because of my solidarity with the dalits and the marginalised). During that time, one of the police officials said "you look intelligent and talented why do you waste your talents and life with these people - the untouchables etc., instead you could start a Matriculation School that will be useful for us all and we will be thankful". A message given to me was that intelligence and talents should be used only for the influential and the privileged. The marginalized dalits and the poor should never get nor be allowed to appropriate what is best. My arrest and imprisonment was a moment of grace for me; made me commit more deeply for the cause of the poor, the marginalised and the dalits. Using the best things for the poor, the marginalised and the dalits is a challenge in the Indian and caste-ridden cultural context. I realised and experienced that building people's movement is a response to such a challenge.
By participating in the struggles of people's movement I also get liberated (sanctified). Because of such involvement reading of the Holy Scripture, the Spiritual Exercises and the celebration of Holy Eucharist give me new meaning, energy and understanding of the universe.
As I get more involved in people's movement I am drawn towards the prayer of generosity: "not to count the cost, not to heed the wounds, not to seek for rest, not to look for reward."I feel and pray that I should absolutely give myself to the poor because it is through the poor I have my liberation and salvation - "Blessed are the poor because they own the Kingdom of God".
L. Yesumarian, SJ
